Our Scars Are Paralleled AND Canceled

Do you have scars in your life? Emotional scars? Physical scars? Relational scars? Hurtful, painful, knock-you-down scars? I too have had deep emotional pain and deep physical pain – they have left scars. But those scars are paralleled by His scars which have healed us. His scars cancel ours out. We need to feel that … Continue reading Our Scars Are Paralleled AND Canceled

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The Edge of Everything: The One Thing That Brought Me To My Knees {NO ONE KNEW}

I was standing on the curb that day. The sun was shining. Laughter and voices filled the air. High school was out for the day, and I was standing somewhere in middle space - half way between "here" and the outer extremes. I was standing on the curb, but in my mind, I was actually … Continue reading The Edge of Everything: The One Thing That Brought Me To My Knees {NO ONE KNEW}

When Intimacy Is Sacrificed for Healing {Love Should Not Suffer}

Sometimes one must sacrifice bed space for heart space in order for healing to be possible. When this happens to a husband and wife, the bedroom can be a very lonely place. It’s dark and cold and silent. In the dark is where I feel the coldness in the bed where he usually lays. Palpable … Continue reading When Intimacy Is Sacrificed for Healing {Love Should Not Suffer}

When a Woman Cries {An Update Full of Tears}

Last week I sent out a request here that flew on angel wings around this globe. And wow did you respond! It is a phenomenal love for God that a person has when that person, who is on the other side of world, would pray for me... a person they have never met in person. … Continue reading When a Woman Cries {An Update Full of Tears}

Handling Life and Its ALL: Call On Grace Himself

Anyone else? I'm clearly at a place where I can not handle it all. My normal leaning on God takes on a whole new level at this point. If ALL THIS is any indication that it's true that the worst attacks come to try to stop the Big in the Plan, then I can't help … Continue reading Handling Life and Its ALL: Call On Grace Himself

#Thankful. In a Very Different Way

In my mind I can think of a million shards of memories that try to come together to remind me of a life in torture that I used to live. Those moments. Those which found me screaming out in wretched pain. Those which found me wanting to just sleep and never wake up. No one … Continue reading #Thankful. In a Very Different Way

Beating Chronic Pain: Healing and Hope Inside His Plan {Part 2}

  The waiting, Lord. The not knowing. The questions. The battle. I'm just fine, Lord. In all of it. Because I have you. And in all that, I'm thankful. Because you've blessed others through me. And you have blessed me.   I am doing tremendously better and I've wanted to tell you about it for a … Continue reading Beating Chronic Pain: Healing and Hope Inside His Plan {Part 2}

Beating Chronic Pain: Healing and Hope Inside His Plan {Part 1}

So many of you have asked me what treatment I've been following that has helped my chronic pain so dramatically. I intentionally waited to write about it until now ~ having wanted to write about it so many times in the last 2 months ~ because I wanted to be sure I shared with you … Continue reading Beating Chronic Pain: Healing and Hope Inside His Plan {Part 1}

Trading Hope for Sex to Find Love {50 Shades of Grey in Real Life}

I've got so many posts coming in the next two weeks. I'm doing at least one book giveaway, sharing a very special guest post from my author friend, Michelle DeRusha, participating in a blog tour interview, and a few other "big" things. For one, I'll be revealing what happened to me when I traded hope … Continue reading Trading Hope for Sex to Find Love {50 Shades of Grey in Real Life}

Why Am I Not Healed, Yet? {Mustard Seed Faith}

Thank you all for these beautiful, beautiful prayers you are sending my way! I feel them and not afraid to admit I need them. We should not forsake coming together for prayer... even asking for ourselves. For those who have known me for a very long time, it is not a surprise to hear that … Continue reading Why Am I Not Healed, Yet? {Mustard Seed Faith}

What Is Not Heard In the Silence {LIVING with PAIN}

In the silence... The pain is deafening. The exhaustion is overwhelming. The fatigue is crushing. The foggy brain is scary beyond words... because words literally can't be found. The all over body symptoms are relentless. The feeling of defeat is real. REAL. REAL. I wrote a couple of weeks ago about my Conversations With the … Continue reading What Is Not Heard In the Silence {LIVING with PAIN}

I Dreamed of Dad… in the Silence: Missing Love Can’t Be Fixed

It's Wee AM in the morning. Thunder rumbles and my tears fall; rain falls and my heart rumbles. I couldn't stop the ferocious flood of tears as I Iie here wide awake if I wanted to. It's been a bad Monday. One of those days where bedtime just doesn't come soon enough. But I felt … Continue reading I Dreamed of Dad… in the Silence: Missing Love Can’t Be Fixed

Chronic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Heather Mertens, 40 Year Wanderer

Conversations with God: Faith in the Midst of Chronic Pain

The last several days (years) have been hard. So I'm doing something very different here. I've felt God leading me to do this for a while now... I'm answering as I feel this is the time. Let me invite you into the inner parts of my soul. Conversations within myself ... with the flesh and … Continue reading Conversations with God: Faith in the Midst of Chronic Pain

Pray, Trust. Believe. {3 Steps to Faith Full Out}

I pray. I trust. I believe. Even when things are tough... like right now with this illness. It really is that simple for me. Maybe it's because I've been through more in 40ish years than most people go through in a lifetime ever. Maybe it's because I refused to have that all be lived in … Continue reading Pray, Trust. Believe. {3 Steps to Faith Full Out}