Why Jesus? ~ When Pain Heals {My Goodbye}


It is a pain that both hurts and heals. I was just thinking… with my heart and my head about… that day. Praying. He reminded me. Then He asked me. Asked me to tell.

It hurts me deep, like a cut straight through, like a squeezing vice on my heart, like my spirit is crushed – to think about what Jesus went through. For me. For you. The pain I feel thinking about it brings my heart to tremble and my eyes to flooding like a raging river… I shake quite literally.

“Why? Why? WHYYY?” My every fiber cries out.

Then He reminds me with a peace that no word is worthy to describe in full but here goes…

Because the pain heals.

Can you hear my heart and soul quenching that? Can you feel me smile where you sit? Can you see the smile upon His face when we truly understand.

The pain heals.

I can’t really put into words how I feel when I think upon that day, that Cross, that Holy act of a friendship started that can last eternal. But I sure can give it my best effort. Words may fail but I trust that the Holy Spirit of God will fill in the rest that my words can’t fully portray. I would have taken His place, but I couldn’t. I can’t. All I can do is love Him back. And that, my friend, is all He asks.

*****

This is my last blog post. I want to thank my friends and family with ALL my heart for reading and supporting. You’ve been beautiful to my soul.

I just don’t see that I’m having the impact that I wanted to for God. Maybe it’s this or that … but whatever it is, I’m certain He’s not done with me yet.

When most of my family and friends ignored me, you stayed with me. I hope it’s my heart and love and desire to share Christ’s love that shined the most.

I may return some day, but I don’t see it in the near future. I’ll say goodbye to these dreams and concentrate on my health and loving whomever is in my path.

The best salutation – for those who know me best… you’ll understand the double meaning – is this:
Aloha, friends.

And Maranatha.

~ Heather

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When a Choice Becomes a Death Sentence 

What else can be called right that is wrong?

I’m so sick and disgusted! FALSE? People are ACTUALLY claiming the PP videos are false? Then why did the Prrsident of PP step all over herself to explain why her doctors in those videos said what they said and make excuses for it all?

Besides, killing unborn babies is horribly evil!! Does it not surprise us that PP would then try to make more money from it?

We must pray that this end! And that God would forgive us all for letting it go on. And pray for anyone involved to seek forgiveness. I know because God has forgiven me for taking part in the demise of an unborn baby via taking a friend in high school to get an abortion her parents set up.

We must pray for abortion to end and for people to see the value of human life as God sees it, because He made it.
As for those -like Cecile Richards, the President of PP who are crying “edited videos!” – the full length videos have been publicly released and show no different attitude. That callous, evil attitude.
They can say all day long that they are not profiting from this, but who cares either way when BABIES ARE DYING? The joking attitude shows in all these videos and Richards apologized for that. How about apologizing for taking the lives of unborn babies?! How about stopping?!


Yes, I am passionate about this. Seriously, I can not fathom why every human isn’t.

Yes, I do literally cry and scream out over all this. And about how every person should be very vocal about how this is all evil. THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING.

‪I am thankful I’m forgiven and don’t have to answer for them and the lives they’ve stolen.

God is prolife from conception to eternity. So then am I.


The CEO of Planned Parenthood has visited the White House 39 times in the past six years. Living in the pockets of politicians and vice versa. How anyone can vote for any candidate who says it is okay to abort and kill babies is something I can’t understand. I can not fathom that either. And how our President is supporting PP makes me sick to my stomach.

I’ve listened to stories and I’ve listened to family and friends and strangers say why they’d vote for someone … Economics, jobs, health insurance, investing, war, foreign alliance, roads and bridges, schools….

But really… Is there ANYTHING more important than a human life?

I voted against life once in a presidential election when I was young and quite frankly uneducated and stupid. I helped a friend get an abortion back then. That was over 20 years ago. I woke up to the truth that all life has value.

I don’t label myself and I certainly don’t choose to be on any one side of politics – no I’m not Republican – but voting for a Democrat in any election has come to mean that human life has no value and legalized murder is their platform.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote for the value of LIFE.

“The silence of the many on behalf of the some will only breed evil that ultimately destroys us all.” – Ravi Zacharias


#VoteLife #AllLivesMatter #Prolife

The Casual Love of Serious Christians


Where I’ve walked has not always been easy. Things I’ve seen. Things I’ve done. Things done to me. It certainly has proven that not all who speak of loving each other really mean it… for their actions speak louder than the words they proclaim. I’ve witnessed it by watching and first hand.

So I’m just more cautious and careful about who I connect with on any sort of basis. I decided it was time to put myself on watch. It was all getting me down, so I went off FB for a good long while this summer and I wrote only the very specific, VERY bold posts here on my site. I’d been thinking hard about whether I wanted – needed – to stay present here and on social media.

Would I even be missed? Is the junk I see on the web that brings me down worth seeing?

I thought long and hard about what I was doing and why I was doing it. I evaluated the “why” of connection and networking. I prayed over it and waited.

Am I even supposed to continue writing? What is on the path ahead of me? Am I even on the right path?

Things this last year turned out all opposite of what I thought was actually happening. I was let down terribly.

Terribly.

By those who committed to me and then waned. By those who said they believed in my mission and then turned out not to follow through. I was let down and turned out.

But not by God. Never by God. 

I was seeing this casual kind of love from other Christians that the world threw back in our face as an argument against Christ. I’ve seen it for decades, but it has bothered me more and more… and made me change to want to be more like Christ. To acknowledge. To follow through. To love.

God has shown me the lukewarm love I have seen is nothing like His love.

But how was I going to deal with all that I had learned in this last season?

Bottom line: if I’m not making a difference for the better for the Kingdom of the God I love, then what am I doing it for? 

I also thought about the social media aspects of what I was sharing. I thought about:

the bad articles that show up,

the things I learned about others just by watching,

the arguing,

the hatred,

the blatant self-promotion over just sharing the heart and soul of who we are,

the propaganda of agenda in haughty tones,

the “networking” for gain,

and the social dribble that not only pollutes the mind but fills it up with unnecessary regurgitated words.

I contemplated quitting sharing my life stories and things that I believe so important about life from birth to eternity.

So I listened and I learned.

And while I’ve slowed down considerably on writing and sharing until I know what I should share that truly matters, I realize that stopping altogether would mean denying who I was made to be, what I was made to do, and one big reason as to my purpose.

I’ve been through a lot. A LOT. A lot of pain and fear and strife and anguish and near-death levels of suffering. But I’ve also experienced a LOT of love – whether I’m missed or not. A LOT of forgiveness, and grace, and learning, and awesomeness that outweighs all the suffering. So stopping the sharing would just be denying it all. 

I just can’t be anything other than what I know is true.

I understand why it’s hard for those who don’t know Jesus to imagine why God would allow suffering in the world. Yet it’s harder to imagine a suffering world in which Jesus hadn’t come to suffer alongside us… to live through what we live through… and to give us a way out for all eternity.

I have mentioned writing about these things before, yet I knew I’d know when the time was right. Learning all I could from what God has been teaching me much through experience with others this past year and a half, I realized He had been trying to tell me very specific things. They all lead this soul to one thing…

I’ve always felt called to share.

It’s all about Him. Those words weren’t me. They were because of Him. I wanted to share what He had done in my life so that others could see His vast love… to honor Him. That is the most important thing to me.

Yes, Lord. I will.

I write because I love Him. Completely, without hesitancy, to the fullness of Him… I share.

So because of that I won’t stop sharing. No casual love will do.

The Shocking Reality of Misquoting the Bible {Especially About Sexual Sin}

I am shocked at those who claim to read their Bible that are taking to social media and the web to say that the Bible and God support homosexuality, fornication, or any other kind of sexual sin including sex outside of marriage. The jaw dropping kind of shocked.

However, my shock is not the “shocking reality” to which I refer in the title to this article. Keep reading for that.

Now keep in mind {as I’ve talked about before when telling my story}, that I lived in sexual sin even after I accepted Jesus into my life. I get how very easy it is to justify something just because we want it. I also know that everyone has to get to that point to where they want to find out and follow all that God says in His Word… if we are truly living for Him. But the truth is that I knew what I was choosing was wrong. And I think that most people do know that deep inside, even before following Christ.

The over arching truth from Genesis to Revelation tells of God making men and women specific and with certain purpose and individual plan from the womb. From beginning to end He identifies what relationship and purpose and plan is regarding each person in creation. We are made very specific.

He gives man and woman in marriage – the beautiful idea that only He created – and compares it all throughout to His Bride which is His people. Jesus Himself mentions this and also sexual sin of many kinds.

Do I think that Christians are going to win anyone to Christ by shoving their “sin” in their face? Of course not.

Please forgive my abruptness here…

but that is absurd!

No, wait.

I’m not sorry for saying it outright. It’s not a Godly thing to scream “sinner” at anyone whether it is in social media or blogs or in church or on the street. It is never ever a good thing to yell or call names or shame.

I’m guessing here, but I’d say most of us have done this in one way or another before. I will admit I have. And God showed me that is NOT working. I think that’s what the “log in the eye” verses are referring to in the New Testament. It isn’t that we can’t lovingly help others see and rid sin. It’s the yelling, the shaming, the higher-than-thou attitude… the big stuff. The logs.

And hey, I was glad that people were lovingly bold with me in my life regarding sins. I still am. But being loving and doing it in God’s timing is the only way. I am referring to how and when things are said. We have to be bold but loving. I talked about how in my last article. It isn’t always easy, but we must. The state of the world today is crying out for it.

Having said that I’ll get back to my shock and dismay about Christians claiming that God supports sexual sin.

I don’t only talk about one kind of sexual sin here on my site, but since the subject of homosexuality has become more and more prevalent, I will address it.  That and I’ve been asked numerous times in the last several years to speak about it. I wasn’t ready then because I wanted to carefully read what God actually said about it all. Now I’m ready.

I lost a FB friend because he tried to force me into a conversation about it when I was still studying the Bible regarding it. I just don’t talk to hear myself talk. I share what God has taught me.

And recently I was verbally attacked on social media by a real life friend who chooses to live a homosexual life.

I’m not going to sugar coat this… it hurt. I saw this friend often and he was kind and loving to me. Hugged me when my Fibromyalgia was dragging me down and laughed with me when I felt good.

What he did hurt me.

What did I choose to do in response? 

I chose to just love him instead of yelling back… after all, he had told me several times in two years of knowing him that our family was the nicest, most loving Christians he’s ever known. I just wanted him to know that love had not stopped even though he chose to be nasty to our family because of something I shared to Christians on my FB page as an encouragement after the supreme Court decision last month.

It was extremely sad to me that he knew we were Bible Believing Christians, that I write to Bible Believing Christians, and he had talked to us about God and church on many occasions – even going himself occasionally – yet still he chose to be nasty online instead of talking more in person.  But I saw his pain. Deep inside he is struggling. That right there is Truth trying to be known.

I asked him something he would not answer, and I’ll post the same question here:

You are asking a Christ Follower to go against what the Bible says to agree that homosexuality is okay. Why would you have any trust in me if I swayed with culture… to go against and twist what God says? I’d have no integrity.

Should I not follow completely what means so much to me? What I believe is Truth is life altering, so, of course I should follow it completely.

I shared with him this excellent article by Matthew Parris, a self-proclaimed gay atheist, who explains just that very thing very well. I’m not Catholic, but his point is true for all Christ Followers and everyone needs to hear it. Everyone.

The Word, which is Jesus from The Beginning, tells of near entire populations giving over to the sins of homosexuality and fornication – both which are sex beyond the confines God made when He put man with woman.

Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV) In Jesus’ own words.

He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”


John 5:46-47 (ESV)

For if you believed Moses, you would believe me; for he wrote of me. But if you do not believe his writings, how will you believe my words?”


The red letter words aren’t the only words to live by, but even those spell out what Jesus taught about marriage and sexuality. 


God was not confused when He gave us each the bodies we have, being male and female.

God was not confused when He speaks against this time and again.

It is NOT taking things out of context to quote The Bible in the OT and NT when it comes to these truths. They are an arc of Truth in God’s Word… from beginning to end.

Christians should read it asking God to reveal His Truth.

I always speak against taking Scripture out of context. But this is not one of those times when that argument can be made. But twisting Scripture to justify it all is wrong. Maybe even deadly.

This is critical. People stay distanced from Jesus when they live with sin as if it is okay… especially lifestyle sin of any kind. 
Hear my heart here, please, lest you think I’m just yelling about sin just to yell. I’m 100% telling not yelling, because I lived it. Lived sin.

Sure, I still sin and hate that I do. But I’m not talking about doing something wrong, feeling remorse, and asking forgiveness from God. I’m talking about living in sin willingly. Lifestyle sin.

Years and years ago I lived in sexual sin willingly. I’ve written about it. I thought sex outside of marriage would find me love. I was deceived. It nearly killed me. But more importantly it kept me from Jesus. Even after I gave my life to Him, it kept me distanced from Him.

And it very well could have been the thing that made me choose to turn away from Him altogether.

It certainly kept me from blessing that He had waiting for me. I chose to have sex before I was married.

I chose. I lived in sin, choosing it over trusting God.

And it hurt.

It hurt badly.

So, Christians, when should we speak up about what God says in His Word?

We should speak only when God has us speak to others about this. That may be in public and that may be in private conversation – or it may be both for some of us.

But…

We need to be ready to explain what The Word REALLY says. We need to do it in love.

We need not confuse the world by saying that this is okay. It’s never okay. It will never be okay. God’s Word stands.

I told my friend the Truth. His response was crushingly sad:

I’ll give up my sin when you give up your god.

He feels emboldened now by the “law”. Because love is being skewed and used to justify something that has far reaching implications that many are missing, including my friend. Well, he exited our lives. He chose to not love us anymore. But, I will always be there when he wants to hear the Truth in love, because I love my friends.

The far-reaching implications are what are shocking. The Church – Christ Followers, Bible Followers – getting scripture wrong on this means that we are leading people down the path to destruction and eternal separation from God.

The shocking reality is we are leading people astray. Lord God forgive us.

G.K. Chesterton made a prophetic comment more than half a century ago:

 “For under the smooth legal surface of our society there are already moving very lawless things. We are always near the breaking-point when we care only for what is legal and nothing for what is lawful. Unless we have a moral principle about such delicate matters as marriage and murder, the whole world will become a welter of exceptions with no rules. There will be so many hard cases that everything will go soft.”

This is very serious. People’s eternities are at stake.

Let’s speak Truth and do it in love always.

#God #ALLIN #Jesus #Christianity #Bible #LoveWins #GodsLoveWins

Your Voice is for Truth {To Speak Or Not To Speak… That Is the Question}

If we don’t voice our beliefs and stand up for what we believe in, then we must ask ourselves where our loyalty lies.

God uses voices. He doesn’t need them. He chooses to use them.

I’m not referring to the times when we know to hold back with someone as He leads. His timing is far better than ours. We must walk and talk with care and forethought around those who are impressionable or unknowledgeable of the Truth of the Spirit.

“… that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. (ESV) Colossians 4:4-6

I’m referring to the voices for God’s Truth in business, friendship, politics, education… Everything … in everyday life when we feel it in our “gut” to say something. That’s the Spirit leading. By all means if you have sought God’s wise instruction in a particular conversation, as we all should pray for His guidance, and He tells you to wait, then wait on the Lord. It is all about what He knows. But there are way more times when we feel convicted to voice-up, but we don’t … and if we really think about why … we find they are for self-centered reasons.

I’ve done it too. I’ve been afraid to say something because the person might not like me anymore. I’ve been hesitant because I think it might push them away from God. I’ve been fearful of saying something because I might lose a job or a benefit in life. But I heard God nudge me more and more. They are ready to hear what He asks me to share… Right when He asks.

So I ditched the fear and the selfish thinking and now I risk everything for sharing what might be what saves them from an eternity without God or what might lead them closer to Jesus then they’ve ever been. Why would I not stand up and be a voice when God asks? Just because I might lose something does not mean I was not supposed to share. I might lose… but they might gain a seed to the ultimate Gift.

We must not forget:
People in this world still die for standing up for Truth.

If we don’t voice our beliefs and stand up for what we believe in, then we must ask ourselves where our loyalty lies. Are we loyal to the God we say we follow and trust with every aspect of our lives? Or are we loyal only with ourselves – afraid to go against the crowd or be called out or be ignored? Don’t miss an opportunity He gives you. Be a voice for Him. I can tell you when I listened carefully with determination is when God was free to work through me. Sometimes… I don’t even realize just how very much.

 

Trend-Following-Christianity Dampens the Light

I used to follow some trends. Some fun ones like home decorating trends. Maybe some fashion trends too. But I also followed some not so good ones. God opened my eyes though. I saw how very important it was to be true to who He made me… to be more like Jesus. 

The more I see “trends” going around among Christ Followers – in their everyday living out life and their vernacular – the more concerned I get that many will blindly and willingly follow some hip celebrity-like person trying to teach the Bible in a *new* way. One of those “new ways” that is off the path God intended for us.

It puts us all in a dangerous position of being led astray when things “look” like Jesus and sound cool and relevant. 

I don’t want to be relevant if it means losing ground with God’s Truth through His Word.

I pray consistently that He would keep my ears and mouth and heart from detouring down a road following and participating in the trendy banter that is designed to get noticed.


Only He should get noticed.

If we happen to be in the line of vision as He gets noticed while He works through us, then we get to be blessed by being lit up in His glory as His own.

But that’s only if we don’t go after the trendy to get noticed.

Father, You are still just that… Our Beautiful Father.

Holy Spirit, You are always the relevancy in our everyday life. 

Jesus, You are not trendy. You are unchanging, the same yesterday, today, and forever. The One to be honored in every word, every action, every post, every comment, every job, every relationship, every book, every talent.

Keep us pointing to You, God, not trying to get noticed, but sharing You. Honor that in all we do… we trust.

Live Blessed ~

 Heather

What Is Your Name? {Our Uniqueness in God}

We all have a name. We even have   nicknames given to us by those who love us. We distinguish each other by our names. It is one way we tell each other part.

Nearly everything in our life has a name to help us set things apart in this world. Names make us unique.

I found an island I think has the coolest name. It is called the “No Name Key.”

  
It’s a part of Key West. I have no idea if people live there. But I think it’s cool, because it reminds me that although the island has no name it is still beautifully created by God. Still it is His.

So when you feel lonely – like you have no name in this world – remember God knows your name.

And it isn’t “No Name.”

God knows you intimately and loves you. Isn’t that a comforting, beautiful thing? 

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. ~ Isaiah 43:1 ESV

The Psychic, The Hotel Room, and Me

It might be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done in my life. But hindsight is 20/20; so yes, it’s all crystal clear now. And … I am still alive.

I walked in the hotel and nonchalantly found my way to the room mentioned in the newspaper ad. It was the nicest hotel in town so “how could it be dangerous” I reasoned with myself. I was 20 years old, but had already lived a life full of stuff so great and so horrible that people didn’t know whether to applaud for me or to fear for me. I thought I knew so much about life.

The truth is I was smart. Intelligence was my crutch. Too much for my own good is what I realized years later.

And with smart sometimes comes searching… and with searching sometimes comes just plain stupid crazy. That was me many times. No fear. Smart and stupid crazy.

I wanted answers about my life and the newspaper ad promised answers. Of course it did. 

The psychic was back in town and setting up shop in a posh hotel. I’d heard she “knew her stuff” …  or “your stuff” anyway.  She apparently had a “demand”. So I called right away so as to not miss my chance at answers while she blew through town. 

By that time in my life, I had actually studied several religions AND dabbled in the paranormal AND mixed what I knew about spirituality to form a New Age worldview… all when New Age was just starting to gain ground. I was always one step ahead of the pack. I lived there. 

And here is the kicker:

I had given my life to Christ a few years before. I mixed truth with lies. 

  

It was Christ that held me together, but I wouldn’t know that for years to come. And I also didn’t realize that answers were there all the time… just not where I was looking… in a hotel room, in the world.

Let me tell you what I did NOT know: 

“If a person turns to mediums and necromancers, whoring after them, I will set my face against that person and will cut him off from among his people.” ~ Leviticus 20:6 ESV 

{In case you don’t know what a necromancer is: this is someone who talks to the dead.}

God does NOT approve. 

“So the God I chose doesn’t give some people extra sensory perception? Extra brain power? Exceptional spiratual power as a medium? Really?”

Right. Really. 

But so many, many people ~ Christians and church goers ~ I knew were going to psychics, necromancers, believing that their loved ones were communicating with them somehow, even that they became angels that “watch over them”.  It was the norm. 

It still IS the norm. 

And I wanted in. I was 20 … I’d try anything just about. Of course I asked about love. I had been in a relationship with a guy whom I had hoped to fix, to marry. He was my other crutch. Yet, I wanted to help him straighten out his life. I thought I was the answer. {He was the same one who strangled me and drug me across the room. No, I was NOT making good choices then. Hence the psychic.} 

She “saw” things that I chose to believe were specific, because deep inside I knew they were vague and could be applied to anything in my life.  

But the very specific things these people tell… what about those? Well, Satan can’t read minds, but he knows by observation what we talk about out loud. He knows what goes on in our lives. Of course he would know specifics. Of course he would whisper those things into the ears of psychics and mediums. The spirit world is at war.

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. ~ 1 John 4:1-3 ESV

But test everything. 

EVERYTHING

Thankfully that day set me in motion to test things. To trust God instead. To be watchful of Satan’s ways.

It may seem harmless ~ pyschics, fortunes, mediums, necromancers, all those types. They romance us. They fool us. They might even believe they are gifted or special or prophets. But they never proclaim Jesus as The Way. They proclaim falsehoods, “spirituality”, and “higher powers”. 

God is very serious about this. Thankfully His grace is there for us as we turn to Him and away from these things. But think about how serious He takes this:

So Saul died for his breach of faith. He broke faith with the Lord in that he did not keep the command of the Lord, and also consulted a medium, seeking guidance. He did not seek guidance from the Lord. Therefore the Lord put him to death and turned the kingdom over to David the son of Jesse. ~ 1 Chronicles 10:13-14 ESV 

How serious did the disciples take it?

As we were going to the place of prayer, we were met by a slave girl who had a spirit of divination and brought her owners much gain by fortune-telling. She followed Paul and us, crying out, “These men are servants of the Most High God, who proclaim to you the way of salvation.” And this she kept doing for many days. Paul, having become greatly annoyed, turned and said to the spirit, “I command you in the name of Jesus Christ to come out of her.” And it came out that very hour. But when her owners saw that their hope of gain was gone, they seized Paul and Silas and dragged them into the marketplace before the rulers. ~ Acts 16:16-19 ESV 

So serious they were persecuted. 

How serious should we get about it? 

As this becomes more prevalent by the day… 

Very very serious. We must guard our hearts and minds. 

  


Disingenuous {What It REALLY Means and Why It Hurts People}

We are called to live a genuine, sincere life. When we turn to making excuses then people around us get hurt. It’s easy to let emotion cloud our best judgment in a situation, but God’s people are called to be sincere and genuine.

We are not supposed to make decisions that lend themselves to the opportunity to then make excuses. When we commit we should keep our commitment or at least fully explain why we can not. “I’m too busy” is something we should all know before we ever accept. And that then-later “too busy” looks like an excuse for certain when people see something else being taken on that shoves a previous commitment to the side only to become a burden for everyone involved.

Then things can turn from bad to worse. When those excuses become dangerous is when they become the death of a relationship. And with the person being “one way” in private but then “another way” in public, it becomes the death of trust. It can become so bad that the person doesn’t see the pain they are inflicting and it all becomes very hurtful. Then come the excuses for hurting. This “one way” in private and “another way” in public is living disingenuous.

The real definition for that word is this:
not candid or sincere.

So we go to them in hopes of salvaging a relationship because they’ve hurt us by misconstruing things. We give them yet another chance even inside our pain.

When someone you think you can trust understands with clarity that what they did hurts you and they still make excuses instead of fully apologize, you continue to be hurt by less than sincere words.

Many of those people speak of it publicly allowing people to think lies about you then it takes it to a whole other level. And the hurt they cause is blinded to them because they participated in excuses so long that they believe they are right.

This is the moment we can have peace about dusting off our shoes and moving on.

Why make excuses – even small ones – that can certainly start to look dishonest when they compound? Why not keep our word and commitment? Why take everything to a level that someone else never meant, putting words in their mouth? All one has to do is ask for something to be clarified instead of making something out to be something else entirely. We can look like a fool rather quickly doing that.

Let’s take time to discuss and ask things as Believers instead of jumping to conclusions that can seriously hurt others.

Let’s not misrepresent them to others for self-gratification.

Let’s not let others speak untruths about them just to make ourselves feel better when we KNOW THE REAL TRUTH about the person.

And let us put the pain of being hurt by those who do these things to us in a place of trusting God. Because He knows the ultimate truth. No, this isn’t at all easy. It isn’t easy at all.

We are asked to speak the truth. Should we not?

Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, because we are members of one another. ~ Ephesians 4:25 HCSB

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I write this today because I have been very hurt by someone I had trusted for quite a long time. Although for more than 6 months I had seen these excuses building and I grew leary of trusting, I decided to continue giving the benefit of trust from my vantage point. It turns out the excuses turned into more excuses with no sincere apology and the disingenuous (not candid or sincere) factor became evident. Make no mistake – I was VERY hurt and conveyed this to a person I thought I could trust. This person took everything I said to a level that misconstrued it to put words in my mouth I never said. They chose to be offended by something I never said. A relationship was lost over it. And now I ask myself: Should I have bothered to try to straighten out what this person misconstrued about me? Should I have even tried to speak to them in private about how they had hurt me and those around us? Is it worth it?

I still don’t have the answers. But one thing I do know is that it hurt to have someone let others make false accusations about me that I know God knows are not true. She even let people on her social media wall attack me. One called me a “hater”… with a hashtag #hatersgonnahate. A hashtag even. She didn’t defend the fact she knows I’m not. She didn’t delete it.

That was just one of the things I was made aware of. That is a painful knife in the back, friends, to this girl who tries so extremely hard to love others. When someone does not care that they hurt you, it’s obvious. I think excuses are awful when they cause pain.

I did decide to forgive this person right away. She is a fellow Christian, but even if she hadn’t been I’d still forgive.

It still hurts though. Obviously. But forgiveness will help heal my heart. Even if she and others choose to call me a “hater”, I choose to forgive.

I tell you what I learned though: I will not trust her or anyone so quickly ever again. We can never know what lurks behind an ego.

Social media can be great and it can be awful. I couldn’t stand the pain ~ and if you have read much of my blog then you know that stress like this causes the body pain to increase drastically. I won’t be on social media for a while. It’s just better for the heart right now. It’s shattered but God always heals.

Our Scars Are Paralleled AND Canceled

Do you have scars in your life? Emotional scars? Physical scars? Relational scars? Hurtful, painful, knock-you-down scars?

I too have had deep emotional pain and deep physical pain – they have left scars.

But those scars are paralleled by His scars which have healed us. His scars cancel ours out. We need to feel that love the deepest.

When you think about the scars you carry in life what comes to mind first? Immediately? Is it thankfulness or sorrow? Is it joy or is it pain? Many times it is the latter choice in each, isn’t it? Losing someone in our lives is sorrowful. Chronic illness is painful. Broken hearts are … broken.

But I want to challenge you today to try what I’ve learned, what I received.

 

Joy and thankfulness – PEACE.

 

I wanted it. I asked God for it and I received. His will on earth as it is in Heaven.

Now, this doesn’t mean that when I think about my dad who took his own life when I was 9 that I don’t feel sorrow for having never had the chance to get to know him. It means that sorrow is covered in grace and love, so that I feel thankfulness that I had him in my life that long and that he loved me.

That doesn’t mean the years of depression early in life are blotted out of my memory. It means I smile when I think about it because He held my hand. He brought me through the fire refined. He healed me.

That also doesn’t mean when I think about the day my husband nearly died in the ER that I don’t feel pain and fear. It means the pain is swept away by the joy and peace that God has given this wonderful man to me to love a time longer.

That doesn’t mean that when I feel this chronic pain in my body that I don’t hurt. It means I instantly trust Him that I am His and His scars were for me.

I am healed spiritually and I am healed physically. I know physical healing because I have experienced miracle healing twice ~ in my life and my husband’s life. It means it could not be explained by the doctors. So should God choose to not heal me physically just yet this time, I turn those instant thoughts of pain into thankfulness that He will work through this to touch others and me. But make no mistake… I am healed and I know it will come to be in my life.

No, I am not thankful for all of my pain. That would be set inside my limitations of this earthly body. I am so thankful, however, for the going through it part that I wouldn’t change a thing because it all made me who I am today… because God brought me through it. Many times souls were changed including my own. That makes it all a worthwhile plan.

Our scars are covered in grace and joy. We don’t have strength within ourselves, BUT His Joy is our strength.

You can be thankful and full of joy and peace if you focus on what God has already done in your life. In those moments where you are broken down, crying out for relief, straining to see tomorrow’s light… ask Him.  On earth as it is in Heaven.

“… And do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” ~  Nehemiah 8:10

My New Age Wandering {Manna: What Is it?}

You’ve probably heard God provides. His provision is a massive part of Who God is… from life to eternity He provides for His people.

You’ve probably heard about manna. The bread-like substance that God provided to His people as they wandered.

But do you know what the word “manna” translates to literally? I laughed out loud when I heard this the first time.

“What is it?”

That’s what it means. And that’s what they asked God when He rained it down upon the hungry crowd. And I laughed because it reminded me of all the times we do that. We are so oblivious to what God is doing around us most of the time that all we can do is ask “what is it?”

We just aren’t that in tune with God and what He is doing the way we should be. This world consumes.

I remember when I went through the New Age bout 25 years ago. I thought I was so in tune spiritually. I was contemplative. I was connected. I tried to be aware of the higher power in the every day moments.

Of course there is a higher power than us. But not just a spiritual being connecting us from one way to another. Not just spirituality to find connection and fulfillment.

“WHAT IS IT?”

It’s not an it. It’s a Whom.

And I am so thankful that I did not lose Jesus in my New Age wandering.

So they WE stand…
Waiting…
Hungry…
Needing….
With their OUR up and down faith and their OUR wandering to and fro God’s plan for their OUR lives…
all mixed up with their OUR mini-gods-of-everyday-life…

In need of sustenance.

God sends a sign, a need fulfilled, a path, an answer.

And they WE ask…

WHAT IS IT?

God must laugh sometimes too.

Shouldn’t we know our Shepherd’s voice better than any other? Shouldn’t we already know what it is when when He sends it? I don’t mean the times in life when we are truly seeking His guidance and it isn’t crystal clear … sure that happens and that is when our faith is valued and called upon again and again. That’s called growth. No, I’m talking about the vast majority of the miracles big and tiny that we live in and around every day.

We ask.
He answers.

“Oh, Father, you have supplied food for nourishment. Thank you!”

They needed food. Something fell. Literally.

We need. God rains down.

“Oh that, Jesus! Thank you for that! I didn’t expect that answer. I didn’t even think of that. I’d rather have had another answer, but this is Your way which is higher than mine.”

I do think God understands our “what is it?” questions. That is called grace, and it’s a beautiful thing!

But being so closely connected to the One who provides our “every day” helps us to hear and know Him better. I need this more than manna? How about about you?

Living ALL IN,
Heather

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The Distortion of Truth To an Accepting Culture

I found myself in a state of shock for an instant, but then remembered quickly that nothing should surprise me anymore. Even logic has found itself thrown out the window. This culture we live in around the globe has become so illogical, uncaring, and hideously distorted all while claiming the exact opposite … in the name of peace and tolerance.

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So what began as shock, but within seconds turned to heart wrenching pain, was what this pastor said. Yes. A pastor. Those who don’t believe in “religion” may or may not think that matters to the shock topic. But it does. Even in a secular environment. For if a person doesn’t go after and fully live with utmost integrity what they belief then how can anyone respect them? So when a pastor who claims to believe and follow the Christian faith says what this one is saying… even those who don’t follow or believe, those who appreciate the integrity factor, stop and shake their heads.

And if the so-called religious and faith filled people alike who claim to believe the same Bible have differing views of that same belief system, then integrity shatters across the board. Those who claim to believe the Bible who have compromised and “reinterpreted” it as this pastor is doing have no integrity in my personal opinion, because how can one who purports a specific belief system only to change it and pick and choose which parts to follow be trusted or respected? They don’t even trust or respect the very thing they claim but cherry pick from to fit their distorted views.

So what did this pastor say that sparked all of these thoughts in me?

I’m glad you asked, because THIS is a conversation that needs to be had.

This Presbyterian pastor (PCUSA) has sparked a controversy, an online debate. All because He has either lost sight of the very Truth that is in the Bible he claims to read or he never had it. His salvation is something I can not determine. Only God can and should do that.

But of course this distortion of truth which causes division in The Church is one reason I choose to not choose a denomination. Jesus did not support or promote one denomination so neither will I. And certainly not one whose agenda is more important than the Truth.

The best way to describe what this pastor said is for me to let you read it. So I’ll share the link. But first let me share my simple response to this man.

Why would you ever compare the Sovereignty of God with human choice? God making any decision is His right within His Justice and His Followers are to trust in that. To the contrary, any human taking the innocent life of a baby via abortion is never a Godly choice. It is a human killing a human. I speak from within an abortion experience unlike most – which you can find on my ministry site. I do not take this lightly as God does not.

By “hearting” PP in your light-hearted way, and saying you have supported what they do, is not a Godly thing to do. I should be shocked that you have a single person sitting in your congregation with your support of a place that boasts about their abortion stats, but anymore I am not shocked when I hear of people with such callous attitudes towards innocent lives. And sadly this world has become saturated with others that think like you do. It breaks my heart into a million pieces. I believe in helping the women find love and there within loving alternatives, because God loves.

Yes, he actually “hearted” Planned Parenthood. His words. Not mine. In fact that is what he titled his now viral post.

I Heart Planned Parenthood ~ by Pastor Andrew Kukla

It is quite amazing how even love has been distorted to an accepting culture. It’s almost as if they only see through distorted eyes. Or hardened hearts.

Still praying that the “Right to Choose” is finally seen by all as what it truly is… Destruction of life.

My Daughter: Why She Makes Every Day Mother’s Day

Through the last 20 years I have been complimented, hearing comments like: “Such a kind, considerate, compassionate young lady you have there”! I noticed the natural inner-magnet my daughter possessed when she was only a few months old. I quickly saw the innate ability God had put in her to capture the attention of even people simply passing her in the stroller. I was in awe! They would make it a point to come over to us. As odd as it seemed, I realized it had to be much deeper than just cute baby syndrome.

I claimed and captured every moment to build on that for God’s glory. I knew that I had to build on it so that one day she would know it was a gift and turn to God for her strength and peace. I knew early on that He was preparing her for something special and specific.

As she grew into the toddler years, her sincere meekness shined bright like a glowing jewel. The fact that such a young child could speak in such mature ways was almost unbelievable to others. Her courteousness and kindhearted ways was a mystery to them because they just couldn’t believe the words that came from her mouth – one that only belonged to a toddler.

This response grew and grew and grew. She would speak in such eloquent and thoughtful sentences. I, of course, had been thanking God for this all along. I heard comments like “Wow, I didn’t expect that response from such a tiny girl!” The reply I gave them was a smile and a sincere, “Thank you very much.” Because I was grateful in so many ways, I could only show gratitude.

This unique magnetic pull has never left her and she still exudes confidence and inner peace… and a burdened heart for others. For that I thank God with every breath. She has turned to Him for everything and hears His heart regarding others in her life. Although she started out very shy and is still very meek and lady like (thankfully!), she has learned that the slightest nice thing one person does for another can affect that person for life. The attention was being reciprocated by her caring heart.

I often (too often really) see children being not only disrespectful of those around them but it seems to go another level. They have no inkling of how to think of others first at any given moment. Their “equipment” is lacking. You are probably thinking “what!” What equipment can you give your child to be one that everyone enjoys being around instead of the alternative?

It all comes down to this… seize every moment. Don’t let a minute go by from day one to begin equipping your child. Of course all children come wired with different personalities, but that is not an issue, it is a blessing!

One problem is that consequences are often taught to kids who are already misbehaving… but what if all children were taught the consequences from day one? What if they knew ahead of time the consequence of a harsh tone of voice they might use. Or the result of a “bothered look” given to a hurting person. What if they knew the consequence of harmful pride and of thinking of themselves first. What if, as a parent, we would always give our kids a full explanation from the beginning instead of a curt “no” or “don’t do that” with no education as to why.

Tell them the “WHY” or “WHY NOT” of a situation before they are ever presented with the choice. Explain what happens in life if they do one thing or another. It is kind of like learning to drive a car… you learn first the rules and consequences, THEN you get behind the wheel and try it out. While you are driving you are constantly thinking about what you should do next to drive safely and avoid the bad consequences.

If we treat our children that way and bring them up with the knowledge and correct equipment, then the world would be full of kind, considerate, compassionate adults. If all parents talked to their children as if they were the individuals they truly are, and realize that our “ways” of teaching our children have their own consequences, then we would probably all get along a lot better in this world.

My child happened to be born with the innate ability to draw people to her like a magnet. But that was not and is not a prerequisite, it just made me realize what I should do.

All people are born with their own unique gifts thanks to a loving, caring God. I simply took what God showed me as a foundation block to build on, and I turned to Him for every parenting step.

I learned a tremendous lesson; one to treasure and now to teach. I knew I had to seize the opportunity from the beginning to equip my child with the desire to think and pray and be concerned with others at all times. Equip your kids and let the people around them rejoice at how pleasantly different they are in comparison to the tons of kids that are running amok. Seize every moment to be proud of your kids.

I KNOW I am a proud parent, BUT I am also a proud friend and Sister to this lovely human being I am blessed to call Daughter.

A Mother’s Day note to my daughter, because she’s the best Mother’s Day gift I’ve ever received:

Congrats, Emmy, on another university semester on the Dean’s list with a 4.0 AND working so diligently that at only 1/3 of the way through to your Religion degree you have achieved a Certificate of Biblical Studies AND begun your Apologetics studies (with me!) at RZIM Academy!!!

You. Are. Awesome!!!

From dancer to apologetics/theology student, your calling has touched so many lives. I can not begin to even describe how proud I am to know you!

Happy Mother’s Day to you all; to the mothers and grandmothers and all the beautiful women who care for others like a mother would. God bless you all.

~ Heather

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{What If} Our “Too Much” Became Just Right?

How much is too much? How far is too far? How little is too little? How trustworthy is our word?

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I literally can not count the amount of posts I have read, messages I have received, articles I have read, etc from people who have constant comments and complaints and excuses about having too much to do in life, too many commitments, and not enough time and energy. When we make commitments we should make every effort to stick to them.

We should not “exchange” things to a backburner – or worse yet, to no burner – when something (or someone) better comes along. We need to learn that people count on our commitment, they plan around it. They believe us when we say we will be there for them.

I read lots of complaints about how people are just plain worn out because they took on too much, not even thinking about all their friends who are worn out because they are taking care of an aging or sick loved one, or they are chronically ill and only wish they were worn out simply because they overscheduled themselves.

And what about our being designed to need rest?

We are commanded to rest, yet nearly everything I hear is how people are just exhausted.

He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. ~ Mark 6:31

Therefore, a Sabbath rest remains for God’s people. For the person who has entered His rest has rested from his own works, just as God did from His. Let us then make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall into the same pattern of disobedience. ~ Hebrews 4:9-11

 

Those voices {rare among us but I learned long ago to be one} that say how when they learned to discern what they should say “yes” to and kept their commitments their lives were fulfilled to a greater degree. And they were not letting people down. Why do we do this to ourselves and others?

It even spills over into our everyday language:

“Let me know if you need anything,” said to a widow or an ill friend. Most won’t ask because they don’t want to be a burden, so we should just offer our love, take over dinner, a gift, even a phone call, mow their lawn, or even send a beautiful card in the mail. We can’t keep up with everyone in every situation. That’s understandable. But those we are face to face with and are a part of our lives? Give them a piece of your eternity. It’s who we were made to be.

“I’ll pray about it,” said as an excuse instead recognizing it as a mandate on your soul. Tim Hawkins, comedian, posted something on his FB wall this week that made people giggle … and I would guess wiggle. He wrote “Christians, let your yet be yes and your no be ‘I’ll pray about it.” Sure, we should all pray about our choices, our potential commitments, but we should never use the holiness of prayer to be our excuse, our slough off. We should always stay honest. It is who we were made to be.

“Thanks in advance for your grace,” said to someone who asked something nicely of us. That’s basically, not always but in general, like saying “No matter what I committed to you have to understand why I’m backing out now” or “No matter that I could say yes and it would be virtually no burden, you must understand and accept I am not interested in what interests you. I will not be supporting you.” How about we let each other show us gratefulness and grace and understanding before we force feed it to them? It’s many times just a “nice” way to shrug someone off and THAT is where it goes wrong. Give a person a loving response even when you can’t commit or something major legitimately gets in the way of your original commitment, and let them feel the love. It’s who we were made to be.

“I just don’t have the time to do that even though I said I would” said to the ones we’ve committed to when they can clearly see we do have the time. It’s especially visible how much time we all had in a given day by how much goes on our social media. Understandably, we all need our play time! But once we commit and then not follow through, it hurts people we’ve committed to, the people our commitment would have affected, and our relationships. Brothers and Sisters, humankind… we need to value with each other that which is valued. We need to support each other by our actions AND our words. It is who we were made to be.

I’m just talking about living with complete integrity. Are we all doing that all the time?

God, help to let our “yes” be “yes” and determine to keep our commitments as best we can. Help us to think of how our lack of commitment effects others and how our “too much to do” only leads to “not enough rest”. Help us to be the best we can be without excuse.

But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation. – James 5:12 ESV

Live to Bless,
Heather

Love Vs. love: Love Died

Love versus love.

Notice I capitalized that first one? That is because I see a complete difference in Love and love. By difference, I mean that I believe there are many kinds of love but only one of them is the truest. The Source.

Loving someone who loves you back is easy. I use that word ‘easy’ very lightly, because loving someone takes work and effort. There is no doubt that we all work at our relationships – with our spouses, with our children, with our extended family, with our friends, and might I add, with ourselves. (That last one is probably the hardest for many.) But what about loving someone when they don’t love you back?

Loving someone who doesn’t recognize your love or even someone who denies your love can be an excruciating pain for the heart to handle. You don’t get to see their smile towards your love. You don’t get to feel their hug towards your love. You don’t hear the words you long to hear,

“I love you, too.”

The hurt we experience when someone hides their love for us for a period of time, due to anger or fear or whatever else is getting in the way, is a mountain of pain to climb.

These obstacles to love are the same obstacles that happen to get in the way of Love at its source. The source of Love is God. No other Love could have sent His Son to die. No other Love could have died for us to save us.

Think about that for a minute. It strikes my heart hard.

He loved so hard, so fast, so unconditionally, so deep that He could not stand letting us go on without His Love.


So Love came down.
Love gave all.
Love died.

Hold on to your hearts though, friends!

Love lived! True Love, from the Source… LIVED.

Now stop and think about all of those who don’t recognize that Love, those who deny that Love. How much pain must He feel? We feel it when someone denies our love even for a moment, don’t we? Multiply that by a millions. Only His heart aches to that ultimate extent and knows how many have denied.

Now let me knock on some of your hearts. Get ready. This might hurt. I know it hurts me when I realize I am doing it.

What about all those moments — those periods, those seasons — when we, inside our love for Christ, don’t recognize His love?

The moments we are not in prayer time regularly, the moments when we make decisions big and small about life without consulting His Word for the Truth about it, the moments when we live out our lives without His True Love guiding us — those are the moments that make a lifetime difficult.

Loving someone takes effort.

Those efforts are worth it because it was worth it for Love to die.

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Love One Another.

It is easier than we realize.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. – 1 John 4:7-10

Live and Love truly blessed,
Heather

Dear You: God Chose You Anyway

Dear You,

Yes… You.

Everything you do in seeking God is working out as Good because He set forth a plan – a specific plan – for your life even before your birth. He did it knowing you’d hesitate, knowing you’d doubt, knowing you’d backslide, knowing you’d come back to Him… He did it knowing whether you’d choose Him too.

You hesitate for what?
Jesus never hesitated. He loved. Pure love. Everything was for you.

And YET He waits. On you. Patiently. He chose you anyway.

You, with what you see as faults, He sees as character growth.

You, with your doubt, He sees as wanting to know more to draw closer to Him.

He doesn’t need you to feel bad that you can’t memorize Scripture or to feel defeated when your body is not physically healed in every single illness or to feel scared when heaviness protrudes into your life. You will be tempted to do these things.

But instead He needs you to do only one thing – Trust in Thankfulness.

Pure and simple trust for His pure and simple love.

I know you know pain beyond measure, but He doesn’t need perfection. He just needs thankfulness and trust.

Trust. He’s got your back.
Trust. He wants to help you.
Trust. He has a plan for you.
Trust. He wants to give you eternal life and peace.

Whatever it is, wherever you are in your walk…
Just turn from man and turn to Him. Trust Him. Thank Him.

You can pray and then thank and praise Him. Just choose.

I am here to pray for you.

Live blessed,
Heather

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The Edge of Everything: The One Thing That Brought Me To My Knees {NO ONE KNEW}

I was standing on the curb that day. The sun was shining. Laughter and voices filled the air. High school was out for the day, and I was standing somewhere in middle space – half way between “here” and the outer extremes. I was standing on the curb, but in my mind, I was actually teetering on that curb that bright sun shiny day ready to fall with the slightest whisper. NO ONE KNEW.

And the whispers came…

“I could step off this curb in front of that car coming up the street. No one would care. No one would miss me. No one loves me.” NO ONE KNEW.

“No one would miss you.” There was that voice again.

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I was standing next to a friend at the time, and it was his mom we were waiting on that was driving that car up that street next to that curb. He didn’t know. She didn’t know. NO ONE KNEW.

That curb. The one holding on for dear life of my beating heart. The one which I felt dissolving under my feet.

That wasn’t the first time I had danced with death in a prelude to the Edge of Everything. Everything that told me I was unloved, unwanted, uncared for, unworthy, un-me.

That wouldn’t be the last time either. I didn’t tell anyone in the moment. I rarely trusted anyone to tell them I even had those thoughts. Can I just call them what they are? They aren’t really thoughts. Sure, that’s what medicine labels them as. That’s what those who can’t fathom them label them as. That’s what Everything labels them as.

But they aren’t just thoughts.

They are the reality of a middle space that occupies a dying soul that has no hope.

I was in the middle of nothing listening to Everything. The reality for me that day was One Step. Just one. Right off that curb to …

“What exactly comes after this life? Am I really sure that there is anything beyond this? Would I truly be happier?”

Those are the questions the soul asks even if the mind doesn’t speak that language.

They are the same questions every soul asks when it is so close to death that it teeters on the Edge of Everything.

Maybe you are teetering on the Edge. Maybe you have in the past. Maybe, just maybe, your Everything Edge is the line you walk every day of your life. Your Everything… what is it?

“I am no good for my family.”
“Everyone could get along fine without me, even better.”
“I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired.”
“I can’t get anything right with my spouse.”
“LIFE IS JUST TOO HARD.”

But then…

There are THOSE questions. The ones that your soul asks.

“What is on the other side of this life? What is next? This can’t be all there is. That would be going from pain to pain. It just can’t be.”

NO ONE KNEW. And I am certain that someone – maybe many someones – are reading this who could say the same thing. NO ONE KNOWS. Or maybe, like me, you began to give hints to those you trust the most. They help at times sure. But it’s not those times that consume the teetering. On that edge. For some it happens only occasionally. Life crud just gets in the way, right? And for others it becomes Extreme.

The car came within a parking spot’s distance away as she veered to her right, slowing down to pick us up, and from where I was teetering, I easily could have taken that One Step.

But I didn’t.

I don’t recall the exact in the moment reasons that I didn’t step onto the Street of Death that day. But I can tell you this … I knew I was missing something. I KNEW.

So as time passed by and my depression sucked my spirit in more and more, I began to give up on all hope of finding real joy for life. But I never stopped asking …

“What is next? What IS next?

The teetering of the Edge of Everything that I tell you about that day would repeat itself in one form or another at other moments; and each time I never took that step. I knew that there had to be more. I felt that I should just slam to my knees everytime and stop the madness, but I couldn’t do it. The knees would have to wait. They’d have to wait until the SOUL KNEW.

The other side was something I had no true idea about, but I knew that I had to know. Because if I took that step to the other side of the Edge… where would I be?

Happy? Eternallly?
Non-existant? Eternally?
In pain still? Eternally?

I knew those were the only three possiblities. So I HAD to find out more in my soul. Ultimately THAT is what stopped me from taking THAT STEP and the others to follow.

And so I went on a search for Eternity.
And I looked EVERYWHERE while EVERYTHING was screaming in my mind.
There was only one Eternity, after all my searching and wandering, that panned out true. Nothing else made sense. Nothing else was without fault. NOTHING else answered my soul questions.

I tried everything until my Everything changed.
Realizing that falling to my knees before Jesus was the only thing that would give me joy and hope and love and truth, I fell. And the Edge became this beautiful place where it didn’t matter who loved me, beause He did.
I KNEW.

Why Are We Here? Is This Life All There Is? ~ The Eternal Perspective

I think this bears repeating. So I’m going to do that in hopes it encourages you like it does me.

There must be more to life than just breathing.

Drone behavior marked by the rising and setting of each day’s sun. There must be more.

There must be more to this thing which we all step into the same way ~ as babes unknowing ~ and that which we all step out of the same way ~ as humans yet unknowing what lies on the other side.

After all my searching and the severe hardships I have had, after all my wandering into the depths of the human experience, I cannot see anything that points to this life being all we have.

For if it were, what would be the reason to carry on?

Legacy?
Invention?
Human progression?
Achievement for the greater good?

Why? What would any of those things give to a society ~ a whole earth full of people, generation after generation after generation ~ that could possibly make a difference?

IF that were true, that would make the only thing worth striving for ~ on this dirt mound we call home ~ a longer life. And to what end? More chance to suffer and live believing that we only belong to that very dirt mound?

No. The very existence of this dirt globe and everything in it cries out that it has a Creator.

And therein lies the journey to answer that age old question:
Why am I here?

The Eternal Perspective.
That’s why.

I fail. Daily probably. Disappointments. Let downs. Bad health. Financial problems. Surprises not wanted. The list can be long.

Not one of those changes the eternal perspective though.

I’m focusing every breathe on that. How about you?

Accused and Convicted {That’s Me, I Hope}

I have a simple question to ask all those who say they follow Jesus. One simple question I heard that made me think very hard.

If you are accused of being a Christian, would there be enough evidence to convict you?

I want to walk accused and convicted.

If I don’t, then I am afraid I will become of no use to a world full of people who desperately need love and compassion.

We are all watched by others. What are we doing to show them Jesus and look back into their eyes and say “I notice you. You are loved.”

We’ve got to love this out if we say we believe it. #ALLIN