Why Jesus? ~ When Pain Heals {My Goodbye}


It is a pain that both hurts and heals. I was just thinking… with my heart and my head about… that day. Praying. He reminded me. Then He asked me. Asked me to tell.

It hurts me deep, like a cut straight through, like a squeezing vice on my heart, like my spirit is crushed – to think about what Jesus went through. For me. For you. The pain I feel thinking about it brings my heart to tremble and my eyes to flooding like a raging river… I shake quite literally.

“Why? Why? WHYYY?” My every fiber cries out.

Then He reminds me with a peace that no word is worthy to describe in full but here goes…

Because the pain heals.

Can you hear my heart and soul quenching that? Can you feel me smile where you sit? Can you see the smile upon His face when we truly understand.

The pain heals.

I can’t really put into words how I feel when I think upon that day, that Cross, that Holy act of a friendship started that can last eternal. But I sure can give it my best effort. Words may fail but I trust that the Holy Spirit of God will fill in the rest that my words can’t fully portray. I would have taken His place, but I couldn’t. I can’t. All I can do is love Him back. And that, my friend, is all He asks.

*****

This is my last blog post. I want to thank my friends and family with ALL my heart for reading and supporting. You’ve been beautiful to my soul.

I just don’t see that I’m having the impact that I wanted to for God. Maybe it’s this or that … but whatever it is, I’m certain He’s not done with me yet.

When most of my family and friends ignored me, you stayed with me. I hope it’s my heart and love and desire to share Christ’s love that shined the most.

I may return some day, but I don’t see it in the near future. I’ll say goodbye to these dreams and concentrate on my health and loving whomever is in my path.

The best salutation – for those who know me best… you’ll understand the double meaning – is this:
Aloha, friends.

And Maranatha.

~ Heather

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20 thoughts on “Why Jesus? ~ When Pain Heals {My Goodbye}

  1. Equipping The Saints says:

    I will miss your blog writings. You have come to be a part of my natural family, as you are a special part of the born again body of Christ. As I was reading your words in this post, my throat tightened, and tears began to flow. Yes, Maranatha, my very special sister in Christ.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heather Mertens says:

      Pastor, You touch me deeply in Christian love. I just need to stop everything. I need to seek God more and to do that I need to go back to a simpler way of life.
      Don’t forget about me, as I know God has a plan that is better yet. Some day you may see my saying Aloha “hello” here. Your email encouragement has been invaluable and yes… we are in that same beautiful family. Amen. Bless you!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Lynn Mosher says:

    Oh, sweet Heather! My heart is aching right along with you. I know the Lord has overflowing blessings in some path meant just for you. Your life always gives Him glory and He will guide you and use you in places you may have never even imagined before. May He bless you with a special touch of His presence. Praying for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lessonsbyheart says:

    Thank you for all the time and effort you put into sharing worthwhile content. May this new season be one of refreshment as you ‘be still.’ I look forward to your return with rich treasures to share from all you learned at His feet.

    Love,
    \o/

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lilka Raphael says:

    I was wondering about a few FB messages that popped up on my phone while I was at work but I think you just answered my question. May our Lord guide you into His will, whatever that may be in this new season for you. Never underestimate the power of your words. If what we write positively affects just one person then it was all worth the effort.
    Peace to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Anthony Baker says:

    I tried to walk away, but it didn’t last too long. Even recently I have not posted that much. But writing my thoughts is therapeutic, if not only ministry. I don’t have a ton of followers, but I have a few. What keeps me going is know there are a few…spread across the world…that read what I write and find encouragement. So I keep coming back, just trying to be myself, encouraging other travelers on the road home. You will be missed, but I have a strong feeling you too will be back, eventually ;-)

    Liked by 1 person

  6. sonyamacdesigns says:

    Our Father asked me to stop blogging on the 31st day of May 2015 and to restart blogging on the 21st day of September. There is evidence of this on my blog under the schedule tab. All I can say is for once I was obedient right away. And blessing follow obedience. You are a mighty solider of the sovereign Lord. Blessing to the all of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. tachandler says:

    I will love and miss your blogs. You have touched my life so much more than you will ever know and I am so thankful that I have been able to connect with you in this way. I am praying only good things for you and your family. Take care of yourself and listen to God and He will tell you when it is time for you to “blog” again! Love you sweet friend! <3

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Annie B says:

    You are a wonderful inspiration and blessing to so very many, dear Heather Sister. I am sad to see that you won’t post for…however long, if ever. Yet I understand. And He is working in and through you. I love you.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Joy Lenton says:

    Dear Heather, my heart was heavy and my eyes wet when I read your words, with the weightiness of your description of the cross and Jesus’ awesome sacrifice for us, and the way you feel led to pull away from the blogosphere for a while. I understand, I really do. There is much you long to share which some are not yet ready to receive. But I strongly believe it will all come together for you soon. And you will return with renewed vigour and God-given confidence as you remain obedient to Him in writing as in life. God-given dreams don’t die on The Vine.
    My friend, I am sorry that I’ve not often commented here of late, although I always appreciate your voice, your willingness to be open to the potential pain of being misheard and misunderstood so that the message laying heavy on your soul can be shared. You have stayed true to what you know and how it impacts your walk with God. Your words have been a breath of fresh air to blow Holy Spirit change and challenge into the lives of others.
    May you find better health, enjoy some fun family time, have greater spiritual whitespace, emerge stronger, rested, renewed and refreshed for all that lies ahead. God hasn’t finished with you yet, nor with the way you share your deeply caring heart here. You have already impacted more lives than you will ever know. Much of what we do is immeasurable and unseen, yet it has eternal significance. It matters, and so do you, oh so much to God and those who truly get where you are coming from. Much love, blessings and prayers to you. Do stay in touch elsewhere if you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Heather Mertens says:

      There are so very many beautiful encouraging comments here on my final blog post, but your words, Joy, have truly reached deep into the core of who I am and show me that I understood in my quest to be a world changer for Christ. You may never know just the beauty of your words here to me have affected me in a blessing I can not describe.
      I think I just want to hide away for a long time. I know you understand so much of why.
      God’s blessings shine upon you and your words and your desire to be healthy and whole again.
      Your poetry touches soul places that words can never describe. March on my friend, march on in the Lord’s Army.
      With love,
      Heather

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Patty B says:

    You will be blessed with your obedience to God. We may not know why He is asking you to lay aside your blog now, but He will reveal it to you soon. Your health is very important and know that you will be missed but never forgotten. You will remain in my prayers and lifted up to God daily.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. writerwannabe763 says:

    I certainly know you wouldn’t have made this decision lightly, so if it’s what you need to do then you must do it. I’m not sure what kind of impact you think you didn’t accomplish. You must have had something in mind, but of course you did have an impact for anyone who knew your heart was in everything that you wrote. You comforted and supported many, you clarified things that you believed to be right and true from a Biblical perspective…. and of course I was one of those recipients. So, ‘may God bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you, and until we meet again, may He hold you in the palms of His hands’ .. Be well my friend Diane xx

    Liked by 1 person

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