I thought if I could stay “in control” everything would be just fine. Yet, I found my irrational side taking control and ruining everything I held dear. It all was a huge conflict that I wore like a heavy winter coat pushing my shoulders down so that it was hard to even walk.
Choice is a pathway to victory.
To truly understand the trap of depression in its whirl wind of a sucking vacuum, we must first understand that the battle OF the mind is IN the mind. It’s not a matter of just “dealing with occasional occurrences of disappointment”, or sadness of life events, or even the bad things that get thrown our way. Depression, in the deep form, comes from within the mind and pushes its way out bowling over everything in its path. It becomes the mode of how the person views everything and makes decisions, small and large.
This pain and fear worsens as it is given life and authority. Relationships of all kinds are hard to handle. The person stays busy trying to make sure that other people like them and understand them so they don’t feel alone. The enemy still tempts them to believe they are always alone even in a crowded room. Smiles can surround them, yet they believe the lie inside the mind that buries the hope. It is a thing, a very big thing, that puts a person in competition with others and themselves all of the time.
These are things I felt for many years. These are the things that I gave into in the comfort that shouldn’t be. It became all I knew. And the little glimmers of hope were dashed into a million little pieces of “will I ever feel better?”
As I grew into my teenage years, I succumbed to all sorts of abuses. I found myself in very dangerous situations — nearly dying on many occasions — sometimes at the hand of others and sometimes by my own doing. All of these things worried me immensely, but I could not stop. The fear controlled me all while fooling me that I was in control. In some weird way I guess I felt comfortable in my ill-thought ways. Probably because it had become all I knew. It is all very hard to put into words. But the battle OF my mind was IN my mind.
Full story at SDG…
In Part 1 of this series, last month, I talked about how depression is a trapped place in the mind and how easy it is to stay there… a comfort that shouldn’t be. In part 2, I want to share with you how those attacks of the mind and on the mind felt. Pain filled with moments that make horror movies seem like reality. BUT! I also want to share with you how to stand against those attacks and the enemy. Because the victory is found in the choice.
Next month, in part 3, I want to encourage those who suffer inside the trap of depression with practical holy ways to trust and turn to God in those hard moments. And then I will share how and when God miraculously healed me. It’s a moment in time that eclipses all others that are associated with this. It is the victory.
I pray each person who suffers inside the trap of depression finds true Hope and true Help. I so desperately want others to know the healing that I came to know 17 years ago… in whatever form that looks like in their life… through God’s plan.
I’m here for you. It’s what I do for Him… because I love Him and you.
Love and live blessed,
If you’d like to read the soul-deep stuff I share… I’m eternally grateful to walk this journey with you… You can get me in your email inbox… Well, not really me. ;)
Have you gone ALL IN yet? I invite you to the ministry that has been in my heart for a decade.
It’s different than anything you may have ever seen. It’s #ALL IN for Christ.