NAME CHANGE: Like Paul, I’m No More Saul

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Do you call me Heather? Maybe Sister? Those really close call me Sis. When I was very little I couldn’t say my name well so I called myself “Heidi Dee” { not sure how to spell it I suppose but it was ‘Heather Leigh’ in toddler-speak }. I could read and write extremely early and talking was… well… obviously not an issue! But clarity didn’t come immediately, so Heidi Dee was *my* given name.

And for clarity’s sake, no one knew the difference. But God knew.

His name for me was forever engraved in His mind and on His heart. And whatever that name is… it isn’t Saul anymore. I once was a hater like Saul.

I hated myself.
I hated my life.
I hated others.
I loved God.

Yes, you read that right. I do believe until we love ourselves we can’t possibly know how to truly love others. At least not turn that love into the action of loving. BUT we can love God in the moment He turns our hearts to Him. The moment we choose to listen.

So I’m no longer a hater. In fact, I love so deeply that it physically hurts me. When I pray for love it goes like this:

God,
Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Let me love like You love. Let me see what You see. Let my life be an example of Your love. Use me for I am Yours.

Now when God started to turn my hater-heart to a lover-heart years ago that was not my prayer. It was more of a ‘help me’ cry.

Help me to forgive. Help me to love myself.

So I went from asking for help to love to asking for opportunities to love. I needed that growth in my change. We can’t change overnight certainly. He CAN change us overnight, and I’ve experienced that in areas of my life. But many times the wait time is our growth time. He makes our hopeless-hearts turn to hopeful-hearts.

So we are not the same people. We are renewed. We are NEW.

Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God. – Romans 12:2

Look for the will of God in your wait time. Be transformed. Thank Him. It’s worth the wait.

 

No more Saul. NOW I’m …

HIS
LOVING
CARING
ATTENTIVE

HIS

 

Live Blessed,
“Heidi Dee”

 

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4 thoughts on “NAME CHANGE: Like Paul, I’m No More Saul

  1. Lori says:

    Wow! This is truly inspiring. God is so amazing and I love how you shared the transformation of your heart. It’s not always easy to put into words, but you have done a wonderful job. I’m glad you’re no longer a hater:) Thank you for sharing your post with me. I do enjoy your writing so much!!

    Like

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